Trust me mommy…? Trust me mommy! Recently this has been a question and a statement that my sweet two year old Gracie has been making… The first time she asked me if I trusted her I was caught off guard – trying to figure out why this little one would ask that. I am sure she had overheard me telling someone to trust me or when I was giving a lesson about trust (there are many teaching moments throughout my day that I don’t always recognize what is resonating and what is going over her head.) However, when asked if I trusted her, I didn’t hesitate to say yes…
I didn’t always know what kind of mama I was going to be, with so many books, and theories and lets not forget my memories of how I was raised, it was easy to get lost in the sea of mommy lies. This sea is filled with all the myths of how you should and could raise your child. When I was swimming in the sea of mommy lies and myths I felt guilty and inadequate – I started drowning in my own fear, doubting my ability to raise my daughter. I eventually saw the promise land, I swam ashore and found my place I call home. I left all me fear, guilt and shame at sea, and I found fayth, hope and love in myself. I chose to trust myself, believe in my natural ability to become a mother, and had fayth that I could raise a healthy happy child.
Im glad that I established my parenting foundation early in Graces life, because the more mobile she has became the more I need to trust and have fayth. As she becomes more capable of doing things for herself I chose to have a more hands off approach in raising her. I want to provide her with helpful guidance, help her become aware of her surroundings, but I don’t want to protect her from herself; I want her to learn that the choices she makes have consequences whether positive or negative. Watching her learn and grow is inspiring, its amazing to see the wonder in her eyes as she observes and starts to figure out how life works. Even when she makes choices that I advise against, I trust that she has innocent intentions, knowing she is coming from a place of curiosity and exploration, not of ill intention to drive her mama crazy… (although, us mamas know sometimes it feels like our child is trying to break us) We all have our moments where we act out and react negatively, but as long as I can teach her to be aware of how her choices are affecting her and others, I know I am doing my best.
Somedays I feel like grace is here to raise me up, she has taught me how to be a mom, she has provided me with the opportunity to appreciate life from a new perspective and gain a deeper awareness of the meaning of life. Therefor, I choose to trust my child, because I know trust is an expression of love. I love grace unconditionally, regardless of if she listens to me or not, I know that continually showing her love is going to support her in becoming the strong empowered girl, women, being that she is. Just as much as I need to trust myself and love myself in order for me to continually blossom into the women and mom I am. By choosing to love and trust unconditionally, I am accepting her for who she is, and understanding that we are all on our own journeys. Yes I am the here to protect her and guide her, but I respect that she has been given her own path in life and I am here to encourage her to find her way.
I encourage you, trust yourself, trust your child, trust that we are all making the best choices that we are aware of. Allow your child to gain confidence in their ability to make choices for themselves, love them through the hard choice and simple choices, and always have fayth in the learning process. On the days when its hard to trust your child, trust your self, trust that you have showed and continually set an example of a being making positive choices. Always choose to unconditionally love yourself and your child, and trust that love will always help you find your way.