I met a lady at the gym yesterday who so kindly encouraged me in being awesome… But she also expressed how she used to use her children as an excuse for not taking care of herself… Her words reminded me of how there are so many mamas out there who are in a rut… A place I had found myself before…
See before I had my beautiful baby I was Miss. positive ~ no excuses, anything was possible, have no fear just choose fayth, type of girl. Even when I first found out I was having my daughter, fayth was my mode of operation. So I thought my chances of being a positive, optimistic mama were great; I thought I had it in the bag! But unfortunately, about 4 weeks after giving birth, when extreme exhaustion set in, I started seeing the excuses appear.
Here is how I would sound… I am a single mom; this is hard, too hard… I need help, I can’t do it all by myself… Breastfeeding is too much work, I can’t do this…!the word “can’t” was very common in my vocabulary, and that is where my problem lied. I didn’t believe I could do it. My Family tried to encourage me, they told me I was already doing it, but I was too caught up in my miserable mom head that everything seemed hard and challenging… too challenging for me to want to try harder.
Now when I would talk to other moms about the challenges I was having, they would listen, understand… the common response sounding like ~ being a mom is not easy, it’s a hard job… your trying to do too much, you’re tired, overworked, just be mom don’t try to do it all… It was so comforting to know that other people thought being a mom was hard, I was glad to hear that most mamas all complained about the hardships of being a mom… I always thought it was easy and I could effortlessly get less than 3 hours of sleep a night, wake up look radiant, and peacefully nurse my sweet baby on demand. But these moms gave me a new perspective… Although, as the old saying goes, misery likes company… I thought I needed company and comfort to help me feel better, but finding that only lead me deeper into my miserable mom mind and led me to be full of limits and excuses.
I eventually found out that my negative mindset was taking me down and I eventually crashed and burned hard… I was stuck in the rut of pessimism and negativity. As I lied in my bed of misery and depression I knew staying there was not going to benefit me or my daughter; So I woke up, got out of the bed I had made, and choose to try on a new attitude. I made the choice to change, to be positive, and the change began with my mind set. I started believing in myself, my mantra was ~ I can, I will, I am ~ I can do anything I set my mind to! I will do anything I want to d! I am doing it…!!! As I had hoped, things started to get easier; just like when I would say “I can’t” and things got harder, I realized my thoughts and words predicted the outcome of the situation. Therefore, after having a lot of hard, challenging, miserable situations I was so ready to get back to having, easy, fun, and awesome experiences.
I am happy to say that I am happy! I have re-learned how to be Miss. positive and I am here to stay! I have learned so much from my journey down misery drive and back up to happiness view ~ the power is in my thinking. If I allow excuses to start showing up in the way I think, then I will start speaking them, doing them and becoming them. Therefore, I choose to think positively, see a challenge as an opportunity to overcome not as something that will defeat me. I am no longer a miserable mama; I am a happy excuse free mama who is being the best I can be.
So from one mama to another mama, I know what it’s like being one ~ its awesome! I encourage all you other mamas out there, drop your excuses, stop blaming your kids for the misery you have or the challenges you encounter. It’s all in your head, so get your mind right. Stay positive and focus on ~ I can. I will. I am. Today is the best day for you to start being the best mama you can be!